Forty-Nine and Back to School
by Fran Hansen
There I was, lined up like a soldier, sitting in one of those little classroom desks with pen poised and glasses perched on my nose. The desk, the pen, and the glasses were familiar; however, the setting seemed odd. The instructor had one thing in common with my oldest child – they were both in their early twenties. Many of my classmates sported tattoos on their arms or ankles, or piercing somewhere on their face. In fact, most of them were my youngest child’s age, hovering around nineteen.
A few years ago if someone had asked me if I’d be in such a place twenty-six years after I graduated from college, I might have laughed them off. But my sheltered world in the role as wife and mother of small children was behind me. That became evident when one teacher gave us the name of Paris Hilton as one of our writing choices. I had never heard of her. After my research on “Paris the Heiress,” I almost felt like an expert on the subject! I ended up with an A on the paper.
I chose graphic design for my major. Soon I was having a blast in Photoshop class, creating a tabloid in which I replaced Nicole Kidman’s head with mine. And there, staring back from the paper, was a picture of me posing with Tom Cruise! I was off and running in my new career endeavor. Well, at the age of forty-nine, maybe a little slower than twenty-six years ago.
It seemed like I waited forever for my divorce to finalize. When it did, I recovered my eligibility to receive my VA benefits as a widow of my first husband. That included forty-four months of educational benefits. All three of my children left the nest within a year and I was faced with a lot of changes and what seemed like a lot of time on my hands. As a registered nurse, I already had my Bachelor of Science Degree in Nursing. If the opportunity
to go back to school had come ten years ago, I would have pursued my masters or become a Nurse Practitioner. But, with the advent of the empty nest, things were different.
The field of nursing had grown discouraging to me. I’ve been a nurse for twenty-eight years and worked in lots of areas, from orthopedics to burn units, and from acute care to home care. Unfortunately, in today’s world, service to others seems to have taken a back step to business. There’s no time for the bedside manner of yesteryear and nursing has become more task-oriented with “hurry up and get it done” pressure. There are not enough nurses to go around and patients are more acutely ill. I’m not twenty-two anymore and the physical demands are taking their toll.
I decided to use my benefits before I got much older. I had always wanted to have a second career, just in case I couldn’t do nursing someday. I love to write and found freelance writing to be very rewarding. When I write I know I’m doing something I love. I discovered there are abundant needs for freelance writers and graphic designers. I also found that in today’s media age if people are talented and trained in more than one area, they can wed the two into a profitable career. As a nurse, I could write and design pamphlets in the realm of health care. The two complimented each other. Still, I was torn about which direction to take.
One day, while scanning the employment ads in a local paper, my eye caught one about going back to school. The school offered a sixteen month program in graphic design that would allow me to get my associate’s degree in the field. It involved going to school through the summer and it was to start in three weeks. I decided to go talk to the admissions counselor. The curriculum intrigued me and I started to get excited at the possibility of pursuing a new career. Yet, I was afraid. I knew most students would be my son’s age, though I did find some that were older, had lost jobs, and were re-training. Talking to the counselor helped my ideas to gel. I went to the financial aid office and discovered I was eligible for aid. That would help with my book expenses. The door of opportunity opened and I signed up that day. I was excited to know I was going after something I really wanted to do.
All I needed was some perseverance and I was off. I took a test for a $2,000 scholarship and tied with another person. We had to take another test to break the tie and I came out on top. I have made the Dean’s list for each semester thus far (I did well in college the first time around, but never made the Dean’s list.) In order to go full time to receive my benefits, I needed to take at least four classes. I arranged them day and evening for two days a week. This allowed me to schedule my job at the hospital around school.
Going back to college has helped me tremendously at this time in my life. It has helped me to grow and believe in myself more. I credit my twenty-six year old teacher for helping me in this area. He made a comment once that I needed to believe in myself more and it stuck with me. My second marriage had been abusive and lasted less than two years. On top of losing my first husband a year prior to remarriage, my personal belief system had taken a severe tumble. It’s been great to get out of my role as wife and mother and expand my horizons by meeting new people and opening my mind and eyes to new
possibilities. I’m glad that I’m actually doing something with my life and have some new direction and goals. I’m not sure how it will all play out, but I know that with one step at a time, I’ll only grow more. With that, I can’t lose.
Fran Hansen is a student at Bryant & Stratton College in Syracuse, New York. She is also a registered nurse and freelance writer. Other articles published include “When Hope Comes Hard.” (Summer 1999 issue of Journal of Christian Nursing), “Rising Above Despair, Finding Hope Beyond MS” (Journal of Christian Nursing, Winter 2003), “We Just Didn’t Quit,” (Home Education Magazine, Nov-Dec 2002), a book review on the book, “Getting to the Other Side of Grief”, in Journal of Christian Nursing, Winter 2003, and recently accepted for publication in The Old Homeschool Magazine, an article entitled, “Persevering Through Pain.” Fran is a mother of three grown children and lives in Auburn, New York.
