Time for School, Mom

• Make your children part of the experience. This is an excellent time to really encourage your child to go to college. Most children are awed by a busy campus filled with laughing young adults. Take them with you to buy your books or pick up your schedule. Bring them along to financial aid meetings or after-school study jams. Introduce them to professors and students, let them sit quietly next to you in a relaxed class, if you have one. They will appreciate being part of your life at school and may even begin dreaming of the day they will follow in your footsteps.
• Start slow. You’ve waited this long to go back to school, what’s a few extra semesters at the end? Don’t dive into a full-time schedule your first semester in, leaving your kids missing you and leaving you with too much homework to keep up with. Start with one or two classes – maybe half-time – and work your way up to the harder schedules once you and your children are more accustomed to your new lifestyle. You can always make up for lost time later.
• Don’t be afraid to skip a class. As a parent, you already know that whenever children are involved, stuff happens (basketball tournaments, broken elbows). And you will sometimes need to be front-and-center no matter what is going on in your class without you. Talk to your professors at the beginning of the semester. Tell them you have children at home and may sometimes be unable to attend class or may even be called out of class occasionally. Most professors understand and will give you the benefit of the doubt. Find a study-buddy in your class who will share notes with you if you happen to miss class. Offer to do the same for him or her in a pinch.
• Give your children space to grow, to learn, to enjoy their own school experiences. Don’t let your schoolwork be more important than theirs or your successes outshine their successes. If you have older children who might be attending the same school that you are, don’t take classes alongside them. Don’t join the same clubs, hang out with them in the corridors, or expect them to study with you in the student lounge. Let them experience the school as “my school,” not as “our school”.
• Be organized. Write things down. Post your class schedule in a prominent place in the house, such as on the refrigerator, for everyone to see. Look at your children’s schedule and compare it to yours at the beginning of each semester, to better help you plan out “must miss” days before they creep up on you. Use Post-It notes and index cards freely. Invest in a cell phone and pre-program all the important numbers. Leave a phone number where your children and babysitter can easily reach you in case of emergency. Take extensive notes in class and buy a good, hefty backpack or book bag. Don’t wait until the last minute to fill out important forms, file for financial aid, or try to get into popular classes. You may end up having to settle for a schedule that just won’t work with your kids’ schedule.
• Celebrate success! No doubt about it, when a semester is finished you’ll want to rejoice. When you ace a test or blow away your professor with a stellar research paper, you’ll feel like celebrating. But don’t forget, it was your children’s cooperation that, in part, made this happen. Let them celebrate with you. Take them out for ice cream after a good grade or throw a pool party for summer break and invite their friends too.

Your children are cheering for you more than you’ll ever know. They’re proud of you, and they should be. You can be a great student and still be a great parent. What a role model! Jennifer Brown is a stay-at-home mom, writer, and editor of an online literary magazine, Applecart Magazine, in the Kansas City, Missouri area. Jennifer’s fiction, non-fiction and poetry have appeared in many print and online magazines, including The Storyteller, Long Story Short, and The Dead
Mule. One of Jennifer’s proudest achievements occurred on May 17, 1999 when she graduated from William Jewell College in Liberty, Missouri with a B.A. in
Psychology. As a returning student and mother of one, Jennifer managed to juggle work, home, and school and graduate in just over five years.

• Start slow. You’ve waited this long to go back to school, what’s a few extra semesters at the end? Don’t dive into a full-time schedule your first semester in, leaving your kids missing you and leaving you with too much homework to keep up with. Start with one or two classes – maybe half-time – and work your way up to the harder schedules once you and your children are more accustomed to your new lifestyle. You can always make up for lost time later.Don’t be afraid to skip a class. As a parent, you already know that whenever children are involved, stuff happens (basketball tournaments, broken elbows). And you will sometimes need to be front-and-center no matter what is going on in your class without you. Talk to your professors at the beginning of the semester. Tell them you have children at home and may sometimes be unable to attend class or may even be called out of class occasionally. Most professors understand and will give you the benefit of the doubt. Find a study-buddy in your class who will share notes with you if you happen to miss class. Offer to do the same for him or her in a pinch.
• Give your children space to grow, to learn, to enjoy their own school experiences. Don’t let your schoolwork be more important than theirs or your successes outshine their successes. If you have older children who might be attending the same school that you are, don’t take classes alongside them. Don’t join the same clubs, hang out with them in the corridors, or expect them to study with you in the student lounge. Let them experience the school as “my school,” not as “our school.”
• Be organized. Write things down. Post your class schedule in a prominent place in the house, such as on the refrigerator, for everyone to see. Look at your children’s schedule and compare it to yours at the beginning of each semester, to better help you plan out “must miss” days before they creep up on you. Use Post-It notes and index cards freely. Invest in a cell phone and pre-program all the important numbers. Leave a phone number where your children and babysitter can easily reach you in case of emergency. Take extensive notes in class and buy a good, hefty backpack or book bag. Don’t wait until the last minute to fill out important forms, file for financial aid, or try to get into popular classes. You may end up having to settle for a schedule that just won’t work with your kids’ schedule.
• Celebrate success! No doubt about it, when a semester is finished you’ll want to rejoice. When you ace a test or blow away your professor with a stellar research paper, you’ll feel like celebrating. But don’t forget, it was your children’s cooperation that, in part, made this happen. Let them celebrate with you. Take them out for ice cream after a good grade or throw a pool party for summer break and invite their friends too.

• Attend a campus close to home if at all possible. If your first choice of campus is an hour away, it may not be the best choice for you. If you live
  five minutes away from an acceptable second choice, go with that school. Emergencies do happen, and if you’re called away from class, the last thing you want is a long drive to get to your child who needs you. If your babysitter shows up late, a short commute can be the difference between showing up in the middle of class and not showing up at all.
• Search for a scholarship designed for returning students with children. The money is sitting out there waiting for you to claim it. Many campuses have computers set aside in their financial aid offices equipped with programs specifically designed for students to search for scholarships that fit their needs. The Internet is another great tool for finding a scholarship that’s right for you. The extra money can help if you need to miss work or pay a babysitter while attending classes.
• Study when you can, not when you want. This could be the difference between success and failure for many returning students. “I simply don’t have time to study,” you might say as you quit after just one semester. “The kids are too loud and too needy.” Soccer camp gets in the way. Or dance lessons. Or Scouts. It’s just such a fight to get in any study time!So don’t fight it. If you have young children, spend your time with them doing the things you would normally do. Try to forget about that Physics test or English Literature paper that’s due the next day. Attempting to concentrate on work while the children want to play will only frustrate you and your child, and you won’t retain a lick of what you’ve studied. Study before or after bedtime, at lunchbreak, or while the kids are in the bath. Invest in a cheap tape recorder to tape your lessons and review them in the car on your way to work or the grocery store. You may only get thirty minutes here and there of good study time, but the minutes will add up.